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Yaiba’s Weekly Backhand: The Serpent and the Rainbow was the fifth blog post in the Yaiba’s Weekly Backhand blog hosted on the Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z website. It was originally posted October 16, 2013.

TranscriptEdit

YWB Serpent

Most of the time when zombies show up, everyone is too busy running away, freaking out, or being eaten to stop and think about how the hell it happened. Me? I couldn’t care less. When you’ve been slicing and dicing everything in your path for as long as I have, the question isn’t, “Why?” but, “Got any more?”

I hoped horror director Wes Craven would answer my question with, “More than you can imagine and a new way to dismember each.” After all, this is the guy who gave us A Nightmare on Elm Street. I feel a certain kinship with Freddy Krueger. We’ve both got badass blades on one arm and a killer sense of humor. I love me some blood and guts, especially if they belong to ninjas with sticks up their ***** (spoiler: that’s all of them).

Imagine my disappointment when I find out that The Serpent and the Rainbow has little more than a few spooky jump scares. Now imagine me tearing off Ryu Hayabusa’s head. That mental image is cooler than anything you’ll see in The Serpent and The Rainbow.

Before things went to shit and zombies started flooding the streets, the living dead were just legends. Ethnobotanist Wade Davis heard reports of actual zombies in Haiti, went to investigate, and wrote a book. Then, Hollywood told Wes Craven to make it less of a true story snoozefest. His solution? Mostly just lame hallucinations. There is a sexy doctor, but Miss Monday’s got her beat where it counts: up top. After all, I’m talking about a lady rocking a powerful pair of hemispheres that earned her multiple PhDs… or would those be Ph-Double-Ds?

Weirdly enough, the true story is way more interesting: a Haitian was drugged into a coma, buried alive, and kept doped up and compliant for two years on a plantation. Then, he wandered around for 16 years before making his way back home. I’ve gotta say, watching The Serpent and the Rainbow somehow felt even longer than that.

External LinksEdit

Yaiba’s Weekly Backhand: The Serpent and the Rainbow

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